Someday I’ll Catch-on
In the climax splatters of campaign mud pie marketeering and electioneering, I’ve come to the conclusion that within The Show Me State, I will only vote for those candidates that clearly verbalize the correct way to pronounce MISSOURI, such as “mih-ZUR-ee”, not MISSOURAH or MISSOURAW or MISSERAH or MIZURUH. This also includes MIZZOU, as in The University of Missouri. Well, I suppose I am more lenient when it comes to their sporting cheers and money already spent on uniforms.
However with the campaign trail of MISSOURI “Mavericks”, “Cronies”, and “Joe Plummer Butts”, it can be quite a challenge to keep track of or think of which candidates do or don’t say the name of their and mine respective state correctly, without stuffing one’s own voter booth trousers and bib overalls with cheat-sheet and/or mini boom box-tape recorder of previously played and studied voices logged from radio and television billboard constituents-future.
I proclaim a new ballot system, one that has voices pre-recorded for each candidate who clearly say their name and state or national office or agenda and something interesting that they like to do in their spare time besides ruin up the air waves with over-priced advertisements mispronouncing the wonderful state I call my home. And for those who “fill-in” the blank, you can simply say your own name or somebody else’s. Also, the closing weeks of campaigning can raise money from CDs and mp3s of these voices, money that can actually go to something better than over-priced mud pies.
-djg
PS: According to Inogolo.com: Notes: All authorities consulted prefer the pronunciation mih-ZUR-ee. An alternate pronounciation preferred by some Missourians is mih-ZUR-uh.
In The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations (Elster), Charles Elster discusses in detail the ongoing debate about the correct pronunciation of the last syllable Missouri. Is it -ee or -uh? In June 1976 and again in 1989 the Midwest Motorist magazine conducted a poll of Missourians from all over the state for their preferred pronunciation of their state. In 1976, 60 percent of Missourians chose -ee as preferred. In 1989, 66 percent of Missourians chose -ee as preferred.