A Brief History of DJG Time
- Born in a blizzard .
- Mom had to be transported by tractor because the snow was deep.
- Cried and banged on the bathroom door for Mom who was inside.
- Cried from the raccoon wallpaper that kept me up at night.
- Danced shirtless w/cowboy boots while playing “Live & Let Die”
- Played “Live & Let Die” on a Papa Smurf guitar.
- Grandma spanked me hard for not putting on my pajamas.
- Loved to watch “The Muppets”.
- Collected dead, rotting granddaddy-long-legs in an old mayonnaise.
- Kept them in a jar in the freezer.
- Mom found half of a cockroach in my right ear.
- Mom found pig tails in my coat pockets.
- The old cow got stuck waste-deep in mud.
- Fell off of a largely-stacked hay wagon.
- Fell off of a tall, metal slide and blacked-out.
- Impaled my left cheek on a hay bale mover.
- Crawled behind the couch while watching “Dukes of Hazard”.
- Grandma Gibson made me wear bread bags on my feet to school.
- Took showers in the basement with my dad and brother.
- Rode the springy horsey naked in the basement after showering.
- Slipped & cracked my head on the stove bricks after showering.
- Wasn’t allowed to run around the kitchen naked anymore.
- My mom wiped my bottom for me.
- Ruined Mom’s birthday after vomiting chicken all over the car.
- I did this right before we were to watch “Foot Loose” at the drive-in.
- Missed the school bus due to an abnormal bowel movement.
- Smashed my hands in a closet door.
- Dad scared the skinny-dippers.
- Designed and built elaborate tree houses, forts and huts.
- Helped the dogs carry dead, rotting animal parts into the yard.
- Grandma designed me a dead animal backpack.
- The backpack had plastic lining for easy clean-up.
- Kept dead, rotting animal parts under my bed.
- Collected bumber stickers.
- Had a secret club in the smoke house with my siblings.
- Made bows and arrows, swords, knives and guns.
- And given real ones for Christmas.
- Cried when I shot a little birdie in the head with a beebee gun.
- Took the tip money at Pizza Hut.
- I thought it was my allowance.
- Ate baked beans on a straw bale while Big Foot destroyed cars.
- Played in the creek in front of my house that our sewer drained in.
-Flushed the toilet and ran down to the creek to see the new life.
- Swam in the stock tank that the cows drank out of.
- Bursted asphalt bubbles on the black top during summer days.
- Spent many great nights with Grandma & Grandpa Gibson.
- We played checkers and ate burnt pancakes and salmon patties.
- Sugar cookies are great too.
- Exploded army men in the cat poop sand box.
- Built elaborate Barbie houses out of books for my sister.
- My Dad and I saw Bobby Knight (Then, Indiana Univ. B-ball coach).
- He was changing his pants in a Missouri rest-stop restroom.
- Saw my first demolition derby.
- Saw my first rodeo.
- Designed and built elaborate sand box creations with my brother.
- We’d build stuff after every place we went or after every movie.
- Showed sheep, vegetables, camping diagrams at the fair.
- Also showed ceramics at the county fair.
- Peaches the dog viciously slaughtered the pet turkey.
- Spent many nights with dad drawing WWII battle scenes.
- Collected “Star Wars” toys.
- Collected “Garbage Pail Kids” trading cards.
- Collected “Bat Man” trading cards.
- Collected baseball and basketball trading cards.
- Spent many nights drawing comics and sports team logos.
- Spent many nights at best friend’s funeral home house.
- Would go in the funeral home back door and see bodies.
- Mostly bodies of recognizable townsfolk.
- Played ping-pong and watched films in the funeral home parlor.
- We did this whenever there was a dry spell.
- Watched films like “Evil Dead” and “Terminator 2″ and “Shaft”.
- Classmate urinated on best friend’s basketball.
- Same kid stabbed me in the hand with pencil lead.
- And the lead is still there today.
- Won first place in a county-wide logo contest
- My logo was butchered, of course.
- Spent time drawing “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.
- Spent time drawing weapons of war and destruction.
- Sleeping bag caught on fire, with me in it, at a birthday party.
- It wasn’t my birthday or home, but it was my sleeping bag.
- Constantly played “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones” in the creek.
- Almost killed my brother when I clobbered him with a cinder block.
- Punched a hole in my brother’s bedroom door.
- Made the baby-sitter cry.
- Built dangerous bombs out of fireworks.
- Mom shot a rabid coon from the tree outside my bedroom window.
- Mom won a cow chip throwing contest.
- Rigged pulley systems, ropes and vines to get across the creek.
- Rammed in the privates by the old ram sheep.
- Rammed in the privates by my bicycle.
- Stupidly did this down a steep embankment in the dry creek bed.
- Mom stopped me from naively sticking a fork in the toaster.
- Big dog Bear took a pee on my bag right before the bus came.
- Smashed innocent mice in grain bin and fed them to my dog Bear.
- Big dog Bear is my best friend.
- Played in the city sewers with trench coats, machetes and swords.
- Whitney the cat knocked down the Christmas tree.
- I learned some new words from Mom after this incident.
- Caused some trouble in the car on a trip to Texas.
- I learned some new words from Mom after this incident.
- Almost kicked out of a hotel room in Texas while bed jumping.
- Crammed twenty eight meatballs in my mouth at one time.
- Fell head-first off a bicycle and tore a hunk of skin off of my chin.
- Attended a basketball camp and didn’t shower for a week.
- Killed my first deer and drug her five hundred yards to the house.
- Gutted my first little deer.
- Played trench and jungle combat warfare with the neighbor kids.
- Neighbor kid called me a gay for no reason and beat me up.
- Got called gay every day at school for the next four years.
- Spent many nights in my bedroom filling up notebooks.
- I designed city sky lines, sports stadiums and logos.
- Wrecked a fence with dad’s tractor and plow.
- Watched a friend massacre a baby sparrow with a machete.
- Smashed a spray paint can with a hatchet and it exploded on me.
- Played basketball on a sheep-poop basketball court.
- Played basketball on a bat-poop basketball court in the hay loft.
- Bats in the hay loft chased my brother and almost got him.
- Killed nine bats in the hay loft.
- Killed the bats with pellet guns, tennis rackets and fishing nets.
- Fed nine dead bats to the farm cats.
- Jerk from across the gymnasium hit me with a basketball.
- It was done for no reason and it hurt really hard.
- Attended a fine arts academy.
- Spent my time designing graffiti and logos in notebooks.
- Mom hit me hard over the head with a Wheaties box.
- Quickly I learned never to tell Mom to shut-up.
- Ran over my left hand with my own ice skates.
- Got booted from a basketball game for elbowing players.
- I have no idea why other than because I run really awkward.
- Fell asleep at the wheel and hit a mile marker.
- Design book fell at my feet during a library visit.
- Bathroomed in my pants really bad while waiting for my roommate.
- He was in the shower.
- Lived off of bread and butter and five pounds of honey.
- Lived next to a major highway right outside my window.
- Visited by a wise prophet while at my late night art gallery job.
- Verbally threatened by a parent while working at a kid’s day camp.
- Ate out of the trash.
- Slept on many couches and floors.
- Jumped off of a bridge.
- Shook hands with Elliott Smith and we both said, “Thank You”.
- Dropped out of college.
- Lived with as many as ten-to-twelve people in one house.
- Ran out of gas on a major highway in a downfall of rain.
- I climbed fences and walked into an intimidating red neck bar.
- Baby kitty Orbison died in my arms.
- Collected dead animals in my cupboard.
- Birds mysteriously appeared in the house four times.
- Rats came through the sewer from the donut shop.
- They awakened me in the night and ate my food.
- Got two cute kitties.
- Slept on the couch so my bedrooms could be used for design.
- Found me a wife.
- Built a new clubhouse in my basement.
- Brought home large, red letters found in dumpster.
- Killed a big buck deer to eat.
- Hung his head in my private-permanent art collection.
-Got two more cute kitties.
- Received a Chinese fortune that read,
“You constantly struggle for self-improvement.”