DJG Design

…my interest is piqued a bit about the year you took off–why you did that, how you spent it, how it affected you, what you learned, etc.

-Carmen / Editor at HOW Magazine

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At the end of the past several years, I’ve been starting each new twelve month set with a list of what i learned in the previous. Items from this past year (2006) include: Things DJG Realized in 2007

-I found out that LOL in an email does not mean “Lots Of Love”.
-I still get weird when I see LOL in an email even though I know what it means.
-I realized I officially dislike the use of emoticons in emails sent to me.
-I learned that internet “Phishing” does not involve jam bands and hippies.
-I found out how to copy and paste pictures into myspace blogs.
-I like to read about stuff on www.wikipedia.org.
-I think that body spray is kinda cool.
-I don’t think it’s cool to keep my mouth open when spraying Old Spice.
-I am thankful for blow dryers with longer locks in winter.
-I still love “Gummi Bears”, but it’s still not as cool as when i was eleven.
-I love Chick Peas.
-I don’t love Chick Pee.
-I found out how I like my steak.
-I don’t like pants pleats.
-I can go on a diet and lose weight.
-I like the way Chinese food smells in colder weather.
-I feel that New York City is a very comfortable place because nobody stares.
-I don’t like New Jersey (or turnpikes).
-I can swim in the ocean and it is fantastic fun.
-I found out the hard way that salt water really is salty.
-I can wear flip-flops.
-I don’t like the sound of flip-flops.
-I like Branson.
-I still don’t like to do laundry.
-I learned what the clothing pattern “Hounds Tooth” looks like.
-I can’t help but think of the ‘84 Olympics logo when I see the pattern.
-I don’t have to say “Yes” to everything.
-I lose faith in my fellow man three days out of seven.
-I am not a perfect person though either.
-I get more and more irritated and more easily the older I get.
-I have stopped sympathizing for those who know how to make terrible decisions.
-I am trying to enjoy the little things in life…even if it’s a bad meal.
-I have the same brain functions I had when I was five, just more polluted now.
-I can’t stay up late like I used to and function properly.
-I realized that sleep is an important ingredient to a healthy life.
-I can get up at 5:00 am every day and enjoy it greatly.
-I am a morning person when it comes to ME, alone and with a handful of hours.
-I love to watch old movies in the early morning with a blanket and a kitty or two.
-I am a “Glass Half-Empty” kind of guy.
-I can never do, make or learn enough.
-I study better and actually enjoy it now that my college loan is almost paid for.
-I am starting to dress like my Dad and I like that.
-I learned that Shadow meows quite frantically when ready to leave the basement.
-I really warmed up to Alfred Hitchcok, Werner Herzog and David Lynch movies.
-I can really relate to the movie “Punch-Drunk Love” and it is my favorite movie.
-I love cashews.
-I even like pecans.
-I love squash.
-I really like to hunt deer.
-I enjoy writing.
-I am no lecturer.
-I get worn out easier now and realize when I need a break.
-I feel more comfortable when I get to church late and leave early.
-I can relate to the hit TV show “Friends” now (that I’m older) and actually enjoy it.
-I like the original “Star Trek” series.
-I like the television show “Angel”.
-I love to start my Sundays with “CBS Sunday Morning”.
-I am glad I no longer buy comic books regularly because I would be broke.
-I still can’t get enough books, movies and music…so it all evens out the wallet.
-I have stopped apologizing for my personal preferences in pop-culture.
-I am getting more used to the idea of the MP3 and the digital music world.
-I don’t really enjoy a live concert setting anymore in the majority of circumstances.
-I learned to read and match the (+) and (-) signs on battery operated gadgets.
-I love the feeling of coming home to my house, wife and kitties.
-I still don’t know how to say properly for example, “Two pair, or two pairs of socks”.
-I still have bad English and grammar…regardless of age, location and knowledge.
-I have learned if it works, change it (especially in concern of my own work).
-I learned that I am not a real graphic designer in standard weights and measures.

 

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Several important items stand out on this list that pertains to my year of slowing down the design machines and refueling…

-I get worn out easier now and realize when I need a break-I can get up at 5:00 am every day and enjoy it greatly.
-I have learned if it works, change it (especially in concern of my own work)
-I don’t have to say “Yes” to everything
-I learned that I am not a real graphic designer in standard weights and measures
-I can never do, make or learn enough

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I ended 2006, my most fruitful in productivity and success, with extreme exhaustion and a head polluted with design takeover. And the near-death of my Grandfather frazzled me as well. Some would find a “head polluted with design takeover” as a good thing, and maybe when you’re naive to it…maybe? A realization of this can out-weigh on the full scale of the daily spectrum though. Also, a string of a few strung-out disappointing projects and disappointed clients pointed all arrows at the fact that DJG was starting to show some burnout and bitter. This scared me. Though, it was even scarier to just up and stop what I’ve started and worked so hard to build. Ultimately, my goal has always been to do the things that I’m doing full-time, and stopping all of a sudden would turn back the clock a bit on that. I just had to realize that what I had built was there all along and will always be, and only on the right kinds of full tanks of fuel.

True, I’m a relatively young man, but in my early-early days of mining this strange, loopy-lop design odyssey, I never thought of burnout ever being an option on the design iron man meter. When you start to tackle anything, you’ll do most anything to make it happen. I had fire (and have had it for many years), even if it was threatened to be snuffed out by a couple of day jobs on top of it…i had a torch. I once swore that I wouldn’t stop until my skull was spilled (and I still believe this in some light). But, now it’s getting a little bit harder to perform with age settling in and being married…and trying to be more responsible. You know, life stuff? A major factor on most anybody’s tool belt is TIME. I just didn’t have a way to manage it properly anymore, even though I felt I had more than I used to. Add this to being a little annoyed and frustrated with the shaping of the design world and I didn’t feel too well about myself and what I was doing anymore.

Back to my string of disappointing projects and clients…I know I can’t please everybody, but I do my best and give my all. Even though I make maybe twenty or thirty or forty bucks on average pop, I give everything I’ve got for something even so throw-away as a concert poster. I’ve somehow landed a comfortable position within the realms of the things I make, that I somehow have gotten a nice little pile of press, and I haven’t had much bad press at all (at least from all that gets passed down to me). And it’s not that I need press, but, it’s nice to share this stuff when I can, and again, ultimately I want to do this full-time and it’s hard to get there without press! Bad press and critiques are appreciated and needed for the most part, but there is a level of maturity and knowledge that must come with that from both parts. And I was on the receiving end of a couple that were pretty brutal and uncalled for, considering that I was getting paid twenty bucks or less. And being that I am extremely critical on myself, and at the same time really enjoy my little works, it can be hard to heal some sliced fingertips. People are taking themselves way to seriously too (though, haven’t they always?). It’s like they threw all their toys away right when the clock marked thirteen, along with any pinch of heart they once had…discarding and disguising all that miracle grow that helped them grow.

The stress of cramming the work in-between the day job and life stuff and having to deal with people on top of that was beginning to roll me over. Situations like this should tell a person rather quickly which guns they need to stick with. Mine have always been constant cannons, so it was almost too late before it registered completely with me. And I must say this now, I’ve had some incredible clients and a few bad apples are just part of the crippled ladders in the design orchard. But, still they just hit at the right-wrong time for me.

I pretty much can make whatever the heck I want and when I want and I pretty much have complete parental rights to my work. Though, that is getting increasingly harder with the land of computers and everybody thinking they are a graphic designer because they can change the decorations on their blog and have the ability to pass a digital file labeled “NOT FOR PRINTER” to the printer anyway without my consent (this is rare anyway as I don’t do a lot of professional print projects). That’s all fine and dandy and just the shape of things in a whole different story of communication all together. But, the idea of the graphic designer just doesn’t get much respect these days. Maybe it’s always been like this? I don’t know. I could just tell that in my little area this was true OR, I was just getting old and bitter. Also, with this web 2.0 world, or whatever the heck version it’s on now, my main work, the ageless poster piece, is starting to show it’s age as everybody gets their information from myspace and other blogs. I’m guilty just the same as I’m more of a comfortably spoiled house cat than anyone. So, really, I feel that most design work I see around has become more for decoration or afterthought (similar to the bulk of moviemaking). Though, isn’t all design decoration in some way?

My primary area of work has been in the independent music industry. It’s a path that I happened to fall into and found a connection with. And after many lack-of-heart feelings coming home from well-oiled design studio meat market visits in design school, I wanted my own thing or a quick exit. I wanted what was coming out of my system, to be of my own system, as I’m very protective of my work like a mother bird. I wanted something that gave somebody a “something” and in-turn something that gave me back something inside…and all of that gushy stuff.

The music scene in general hasn’t been in my heart like it once had when I started this. Maybe because I barely have enough time to slide down for design that it’s easy for me to neglect the music side? I still love music and devour it daily. Though, my first involvement was more one-on-one with bands and I was always going and going, which gets harder as I grow older. I really enjoy being at home now and ever since early childhood, I’ve enjoyed locking myself up or out, and making things. I don’t go to many concerts anymore because I tire easily, most live music settings push my buttons rather quickly, and I am not in a position to network like I once was. And thank the good lord of Full House that I don’t live in poverty anymore with about ten musician roommates. It was fun for the first few months and I consider those days very crucial and special to my development, in a strange way. Though, I consider all days very crucial to my development…in a strange way.

It can be mighty discouraging when some musicians I work for tell me that they don’t see the point in trying to achieve an artistic endeavor on the side of a full-time day job. This is the biggest kick to the pants. The same person who shucked the day job responsibility and overall, ability to pay the rent and his graphic designer has told me this. It made me feel like a fool and worthless.

Due to my situations and relationships (it’s certainly not my charisma or good-bad looks) I’ve never had to promote my design work at all (well, except for competitions and magazines which cost more money than what I make in a year). Getting the work has never been an issue for me. I’ve never had to promote myself or throw myself on inbox door stoops before now. People, projects and inquiries have somehow come to me. Though, an obvious global positioning has thrown a wrench in this and I don’t get out much. However, even when I used to get out, I didn’t work myself around by any means. I’ve always believed in the work speaking for itself and I’ve always believed that early success can lead to early exits. I’ve felt that I’ve needed to earn my design stripes on my painting shirt, like a Dalmation dog earns its spots. I’m now finally at the still sheepish point where I’m learning the values of shameless self-promotion and taking all that I’ve built and have been sitting on to work smarter, not harder. Though, I still plan to work my hardest. It’s hard though because whatever small amount of time I have, I try to make something new with that, as opposed to rubbing knee-caps. And I really don’t care to go to my own art openings or other shows because I’d rather be home creating or studying instead of looking at old news. I get a little strange at art shows. Sometimes I end up being disappointed all together.

A like-minded friend, Chad T. Johnston (a writer) and I, have been working non-stop of late because approaching 3.0, we both feel that we have a lot more to say in this short life and we hope to whip our day job blues in order to work smarter, not harder and fill up the spit cans with what we’ve got to say. Through our conversations I’ve realized that I have said a lot in this small amount of time with design so far. And my lot is not full yet by any means. I’m still young. I took a good look at the past 6 years and realized that I’ve fulfilled most every goal that I had marked in my opening day cement. Though, I think that if I were to die today that I would day satisfied in certain lights, but not within my own personal paper trail I hope to leave imprinted on the Earth. I have much more work to do here. I suppose though I haven’t done too bad compared to other brackets. And some days it’s all just out of my hands. But, I don’t believe in sitting on them.

Before 2006 hit, I used to think I could spin these design wheels fast and forever. I was wrong. Early last year I just didn’t care anymore for popping the bubbles on the asphalt. I’ve always been very much in tune with what I put to paper, but I also felt like the work was definitely headed in the direction of, more for me instead of for my clients. I enjoy making things for people greatly and the great relationships I’m able to share with my clients, beyond a poster, logo or CD design (heck, I get invited to birthday parties and everything). But, it can become dangerous for a designer when the work starts to take over and becomes more important than the cause…when the designer becomes the cause. Of course, why do the work at all if you don’t like it? I love what I do and it’s medicine for me in strange ways. And it means a lot to me when people stop to take a thought or a giggle home with them because of something I’ve bent my back over in the basement. It still baffles me that I have a small following of eyes attracted to my silly things and that people say there is “something” to the something I’m saying.

Though, this can become dangerous when crossing personal paths upstairs. And I don’t know of anybody in this life who doesn’t have tugs of war of whatever sort they might be kicking out their insides. It’s a hard wrestle when you know you have the potential to be sitting on a bit more golden colored eggs than the average man-child in his basement, but not know how to get them to hatch and/or how not to suffocate them. And sometimes you want to settle for bronze because then so many people won’t see you standing there. Every semester for the past five years the handfuls of professionals and mostly students, randomly contacting me has swelled. This means so much to me that these little things that are trickling out are flying about and popping bubbles with their beaks to make new bubbles for thought and inspiration. At the same instance it gets me crazed because I have to keep this up, even when I don’t feel like it on some days.

So, my portfolio has gained a lot of weight, but do I make any money? That answer is NO…and I knew that one coming in, so no surprises there. I’m in my seventh year of this game (in a professional manner) working full-time day jobs on top of my passions. Some past pavements even found me with a part-time job on top of the day-time job and then saving the nights and weekends for design (and a girlfriend too). So, the issue is not about a lack of work ethic, passion or drive, nor is it a lack of ideas or imagination. I’ve don’t believe in having a lack for any of that. And designers that do have an issue in those areas need to possibly reconsider what they’re doing. But, with me it’s been more the issue of a fire being lit. Interesting enough, it takes fire to keep it lit and to burnout with. It’s just a healthy balance that you’ve got to keep tending to. So, I realized that whether I made things for myself or for others, I would pretty much even it out as I don’t make any money and I’m still making and doing the things that I love and enjoy and need to be doing. So, there is nothing to lose there in some fashion.

This is something I have learned…balance. Last year I still had a few loose ends and commitments to fulfill. But, after learning to finally say “NO” to a few new projects coming in (which is very hard for me), I started to just do things completely for myself, for me and the basement and my wife and the kitties to only see. I didn’t stop producing, I just took it a different direction. I’m also in the process of spitting out some writings and special little projects with a few others that will be trickling around one of these days. I suppose I’ve always felt more in kin with old folk artists or the older generation(s) of designers/illustrators than younger graphic designers in my approach and ethic. I’m not really sure, and I’m not a fan of labels other than a “maker of things”. I just wish to make the things that need to come out of me and share them with others if need be.

Back to TIME…without having time to fully spend with the development for some of my more important design children, and with the lacking ability to muster through multiple all-nighters like I once did, I needed to find a healthier balance. I’ve learned that a lack of sleep will catch up with you eventually. So, I switched roles and started getting to bed early and up early. My day job doesn’t need me until 9:00am, so that gave me a solid four hours (I walk four blocks to work, so no travel time), minus thirty or forty minutes of dish washing, eating breakfast and getting ready. For the first four or five months I did nothing but read books for the first hour in the morning and the rest of the time I tinkered with little things here and there or filled up on movies. I also took back my time at the day job by not eating lunch with the rest of the office. Instead, I changed up my lunch time all together and started eating at 3:00 or 3:30 in the afternoon. Even this little shift in scheduling helps build self-control and strength. AND, i was tackling a diet and being that I like to be alone, it helped me to find some peace in the work place and to keep filling up the uncovered wagon w/sideboards at the all I can eat pop-culture buffet by way of books. It’s always been filling up. If I’m not doing anything, I have to be doing something. There is just not enough time in the day for everything I wish to devour. But, I try my best.

It’s hard at first, but, after a week or so I looked forward to waking up at 5:00am. As I would hit the pillow, I couldn’t wait to get up for myself. In the past I had always hated going to sleep because it meant that I had to get right up and get to work for somebody else. I would roll off the couch in my janitorial outfit on a few hours of sleep and immediately walk out the door. Getting up for myself was like a new life for me, up with my own crickets. There is something almost dream-like about being awake in the early morning hours before most everybody else is crawling out of the sheets. It’s that time of day when the possibility of the prayers getting to the last of the line first, is a greater than.

I’ve always thought that even though I can be too entertained when I’m alone and with my work, I’m still not completely alone in my scribbles in the big picture. I guess it’s my way of worship to a much bigger palette? There is almost a “last man standing” position of feeling, in a sense(s) to getting up in the early a.m. for me as well. It’s not too unlike an old “Twilight Zone” episode. It’s easy for me to day dream of being the only person left, just sitting in my basement making things because it’s so easy for me to spend a lot of time alone and I enjoy it. Though, then I get to the food issue. I don’t want to eat my cats or wonderful Millie. So, I would need a vast supply of well-kept hot dogs or something?

Perhaps my farm boy roots are digging into me of late as well with getting up and into my fields early. I guess I’m a young whipper-snapper. I think that if I ever manned a fully-staffed studio, I would have it start really early and we’d crank out stuff like mad. My dirt feels fresher in the mornings without the junk clouds of the day following me. When I’m at my day job all I want to do is go home and make stuff. And I’ve been blessed with the jobs that I have had, as some have found me sweeping parking lots and literally digging thru junk clouds and bringing stuff home to create with. And…they’ve been pretty good jobs! Heck, at one of my janitorial positions, I had some free time on a few occasions to make posters. I’ve worked in data entry work the past two years and of late have been playing the spoiled meat in a cubicle sandwich. It’s a great job, but many days I can’t focus because I feel stuck and the fact that I’m too self-involved and can’t sit too still in my own mind or concentrate can boil quick. It can be triumphant, yet very troubling to carry this. My after school special isn’t reserved for a certain slot of time. I’m always on the inside jungle gym. Though, after an eight hour day of chasing another man’s dream, it can be hard to have the muster sometimes to come home and want to do much for me…especially the older I get. This happened just the other day as I couldn’t sit still at work for the pile I could be creating at home. I finally got home and I was so dog gone tired and defeated. Many days of this can ruin a man, but it’s got to be worth fighting for and in some odd cases can be fuel. And it’s alarming to see the time stack up and be filed away when you’re working for somebody else. It’s easy to put the personal goals and cares on another branch and just wish the weeks away fast. So, getting up early and wittling out a chunk of time on my tree, was a very crucial foundation to a much healthier life and helped dust the frame(s) for me.

Another thing that I wanted to do was make overall life changes and diet. Working non-stop, not sleeping and not eating well starts to speak pretty quick and I wanted to whip this before it got serious later in life. Now, I’m not guaranteed the next paragraph, but I want to make this one I’m in right now lead up to it in whatever formal best manner that I know best. Though, shortly after taking grooming classes at age eleven in 4-H, I stopped tucking in my shirt and combing my hair.

So, here I am. It’s taken me many months (heck, 29 years) of wrestling and hair tugging of who am I and what the heck am I doing. And I think that I don’t think I can turn it off. What is the conclusion? Well, I am not finished by any means. I always plan to be making my best work as I see myself a work in progress, though I see myself as my only competition too. I’m always cracking my whips. I am at my best when I am alone and making things and it can turn to bad as well. It’s just a matter of a healthier balance of everything else to where I don’t dive too far into DJG. Though, maybe if I just work hard enough I can get a special spot out by the back dumpster up there next to the much-bigger, name-tagged cubicles in design heaven? Who knows? I do know that I am just a man first thing. Second, I am a man who happens to make things. I believe I borrowed that from another man who made things once, but I can’t find whose fingernails it belongs to.

Or, perhaps I need to stop thinking and just get to making?

-djg